Forgiveness: A Gift You Give Yourself

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain

People will often ask me what I consider to be the most important life skill that people need to feel peaceful and promote their own sense of well-being. While it is important to manage stress, take care of yourself, and maintain your relationships, it is vitally important to practice forgiveness.

At some point in our lives, we all have life situations where we feel guilt, blame, and hurt from something that has happened. This may be from what someone else said or did to us or maybe it was because of what we feel we should have done differently. This holds us hostage in a cycle of negative thinking. It may not be possible to get an apology from the person who caused it, but neither is it right for us to hold on to the hurt and cause dis-ease within ourselves. When we forgive ourselves and others it is not about saying what happened is right or wrong, it quite simply is refusing to hold on to the pain any longer. In essence, it is the greatest gift that you give yourself so you can move on in your life with a greater sense of peace. You might ask yourself, what or who in my life needs my forgiveness? If you need forgiveness for yourself or others some of these practices can help you begin.

· The first step to begin is to simply acknowledge and become aware of when you are feeling hurt and decide that you are going to take steps to resolve it right away. It is important to remember that no matter how much you might want to, you cannot change what has happened, but you can change your relationship to it. Promise yourself you will work to resolve the hurt.

· It is helpful to journal your feelings and acknowledge what happened from your point of view. After you have put your feelings on paper begin to recognize and accept your feelings with love and compassion, rather than with anger and judgment. I know this may be hard at first but the more you practice being kind and gentle with yourself the easier it becomes.

· Just as you have feelings and emotions about the situation so does the other person. Do your best to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view to gain a greater understanding. When we are feeling vulnerable it is hard to see another viewpoint but when we can begin to see that more than one thing can be true at the same time the more understanding we have.

· Forgiveness will require you to let go of being the victim in the situation. This invites an opportunity to ask if there is a blessing that was not seen before. When you open your heart it will allow you to look beyond the negative and into the heart of the other person.

· We know what it feels like to have things in our lives are unresolved, it is harder to imagine what peace and harmony feel like even though we desperately want it. I would encourage you to begin to visualize what it might be like to feel peace and harmony within you.

Forgiveness is a matter of the heart and I would encourage you to begin to practice forgiveness because it is the most precious gift you can give to yourself and others.

COFFEE CONVERSATIONS: Thursday, October 19th 11:00 AM - Noon

This is a no-cost Zoom conversation. Our topic is this month is Forgiveness.

Registration is required. Invite a friend to join you!

Use this link to register: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZYqc--spzgiE90ga62r2YyOEu0_ji76vglM